hmm.. SE exam is on 2mr...

well se exam is 2mr.... i should have sit in front of book and struggle for the exam.... but since few weeks ago .... i felt so down easily.......i wonder what have happen to me..... suddenly feel like hating myself a lot.....damn it.......whatever then, i guess it will be much better after exam gua..... or maybe ..... hmm.... i also dunno.... same as last holiday?... maybe.....haha... feel like throwing the monitor onto the floor, throw the keyboard out of the window.... throw the mouse into rubbish bin.... and throw the speaker to the wall.....hard to breathe..... haiz.... but i managed to smile.... that can count ok gua..... hehehe.....nothing is right since holiday..... so shit.....but at least i'm not wasting my tears lo..... haiz.......

**it's a suffer when you have to smile when u r sad....(i like this sentence.... it is too meaningful....)

love arey....God Bless

True friend~

a true fren, what is the different between a true fren and a best fren ? i found out the answer not long ago.... in jun 22, 2007....a fren that i knew from LO induksi 07/08..a fren who call me up to the stage in the early morning to do the refreshment for the 1st day in Dk,ctf1.its quite funny .... then we started our conversation in the game " angin bertiup"... and from there, i knew her name "Angelyn".... hehehe.... few day later, she told me that she is my form 3 English teacher's niece.... hehehe...... This world is so small.... aiyoyo.... heheh.....being posted into the same college, Cempaka during MAP.... we having unforgetable time together, eat together, have afternn nap together, hehe..... we were having a great time.... and i dun know why for a person that i know for only for a two weeks time can be so close together....after MAP, we become more close together... i ever said to her, we are born too met each other.....we are born to know each other.....

a true fren , is a fren that we are not selfish to, even a tiny bit, is a fren that we treat with full of our heart, a fren that we cant lie to.... most importantly, a fren that we luv....this is wat in my mind in the meaning of a true fren......sometimes under some circumstances, there r weaknesses in some frenship that can make you break down and cry ,but then, you cant do anything....

Angelyn, dar dar, there r some words that we will keep in our heart and quite shy to say it out.....so i say it here,

Dar dar,

i don't know how many times i thanks God for letting me to meet you n to be your fren. one of the wonderful thing in my life is met you.... i wanna say thank u alot... quite ama hehe..... hahhaha... dar dar, dar dar muaks muaks dar dar....

from me, dar dar.

不想长大

(生日感想)

20/05/2007

S.H.E 的一首歌，“不想长大”。在自己生日前夕，突然有种感触，我不

想长大，根本不想长大，长大后的世界都是复杂的。每一件事都可以

缭乱思想，复杂到透不过气来。何必呢？我好想永远活在儿童的世界

里，对周围的事都毫无顾虑，开开心心的活着，无忧无虑的活着……长

大了，什么事情都要自己处理，开心时还要有一半的脑去担心其他的

事，悲伤时还有顾虑到不影响其他事或其他人。小时候，悲伤时就哭，

开心时就笑， 多简单的生活！我告诉我朋友，我不想长大，我要自己

永远都是幼稚园学生， 无忧无虑。结果，大家都在笑我……也许我是

说了蠢话，那是不可能的事，可是无忧无虑的生活，谁拒绝得了呢？

面对事实，我可以啊！对啊！我不得不面对事实，我不再是小孩了……

顾虑到现在，还要顾虑到未来。脑就是不停的运转，想着千千万万个问

题和烦恼，每个人都是这样。开心和欢笑的背后，烦恼着所面对的烦

恼， 悲伤和哭泣的背后，享受微微幸福的存在。时间呼唤我们长大，

秒针一步一步的走，仿佛好像在我们背后推动着我们向前走，瞭望未

来……它把我们推向哪里？这只有我们自己做决定。走每一步都是小心

翼翼，每一步都把我们小时候的单纯想法遗留在背后……童年欢乐的时

光也遗留在远远的背后，把脑里的空间占满着周围的发生事情。现在想

起，生活在这世界短短几十年，就是给种种烦恼缠绕着度过，好像有点

不值得呢！即使说老了退休，可以享受清福，还是会烦恼自己会怎样

死，怎样离开这世界吧？！即使有钱要环游世界，也会烦恼着要先去哪

个国家吧？！

总之，随着年龄的增长，烦恼也越变越多。明天是我在这世界呼吸第20

年的第一天，虽然烦恼多，但还是很庆幸可以来到这世界，看看这世界

的奥妙。但我还是要说，“我不想长大！！！”=P

p/s:

I would like to say thanks to my friends who help me celebrate my birthday

yesterday. Well, this is the first time they help me celebrate. Do I have to mention

all their names? Hehe… ok… thanks to Hon Hua, Nan Ping , Hui Heng, Mei Hui,

Kee Choi, Teng Wang, Chia Yin, Li Yong , Kang Li, Maureen, Ee Chiang, Hui

Ling and the absent one, Hui Liang…. Thanks for everything….. Muackss… and

thanks to the earliest First person who say “Happy Birthday” to me last month…

Thanks for everything…. I love u all…….

Best Wishes from me,

aReY

(Blog written on 20/05/07, 6.55pm)

new batch~

new batch registered into college..... as a LO, wow head! hell busy and angry.... coorperation is  very bad between the team... well, what to do? hell die!!!! standing at the arrival hall the whole day, my leg's cells all dead.... imagine wearing high heel and standing whole day.and you have to argue with your team member.coorperation really bad like hell.... that all i can say but that is for "some"of the member lah......hell!!!! hopefully tomorrow can be very well..........

The Phobia...

Maybe sometimes i really think too much... but yet, i'm sure that i am very scare to be hurt again and the dark happen again ... i dun wan to be hurt again so right now i dun wan to ask much whch that is not belongs to me and what that will not belongs to me.... everything comes and go.... i guess i wouldn't have a better life either........... although everything passed... the effect still in me... and i guess i'm still phobia with it.... i dun want to welcome the problem to come into my life life really unexpectable...... things not happen according to what you want.... does this the method that God used to train human to be strong? i think i'm strong enough facing my feeling... but things still looking for me and caused me break down and cry.... and what is that for? i really dunno.......... that day i found out that the scare looking for me.... the phobia..... i dun want things happen and happen again.... the strong in me will be chop off again and again until i loss it..... and that time i really dun know what will happen to me.......i guess i will loss myself....... only God knows everythings........

情绪病。。。。。。

那天，自己闹了一个晚上的情绪，唉！觉得自己好白痴哦。。。还有77天，我就20岁了。。。想起来好丢脸哦！都长大了，还爱闹情绪。。。真是的~哇！对不起自己啦。。。对不起家人。。。对不起全世界的人。。。我要和“闹情绪”说不了!

♥♥

it's solved....

already how many years that thing happen.... i forgot already and i have to take a look at my hand and count it with my fingers.. since 2002, the year i faced my PMR..5 years already... thing never get it solution.... and on february 20, 2007, i finally can get myself off of that annoying matter.

since 2002, i have been suspected to be the person that doing that stupid thing.i was trying to tell everyone i am innocent, but then, the people from the other side... that other side stil suspected me do that sending stupid email thing to one of my fren...... i know that , however, i starting to be lazy to explain to all.... they not believe in me.... so no matter how i explained, things will get worse.... i just keep quiet...it was annoying.... until i left my secondary school... how i wish that person never appear in my life.... how i wish i never put my feeling on him....he was the one that probably causing all this to be happen.... i started to hate this person since form 4... yup, that time he graduated already....but things still keep happening.... i'm so lazy to face it... until me dun want to care about it.... i really dun want to care about it, even my fren talk about the stupid email that she receive from someone unknown, i acted like i didnt heard it... then skipped to another topic.... for two years i left secondary school , this matter left unsolve.... right until 20 february 2007, one of my fren ,that her sister is one of the fren of that person, told me who did that.... and auomatically prove tht i'm innocent.... i suddenly feel so happy and feel so free....

problem solved , who did that, i also know... but then... i let it go.... revenges are nothing now....that person that did all that has the punishments now...just want to let the matter gone with the wind... i just accept the fact that i had been very unlucky to be involved in this matter....but this thing made me thinks maturely and be happy go lucky..... time will prove everything that is right or wrong although it's takes a long time....

i'm free finally.........

新年到~~~~~

恭喜啊~恭喜~发啊发大财~

财神到~财神到~财神来到我家门口~~迎财神~接财神~把财神接到我家里头~~~

哈哈。。。 在这里先跟大家拜个早年啦！！还有两个星期就农历新年了。。。 不，还有13天就过年咯！！！！现在，口里每天都哼着新年曲呢~那种感觉真棒！我可爱的堂弟要回来了~我小姑也要回来了~我两个老姐也要回来了。。。 我也要从UNIMAS回去家里过年了（虽然说，我几乎每个星期都有回咯！）一家又要团圆了~我相信，此刻我不是那最高兴的一个，最高兴的还是我老爸和老妈吧！

新年衣，早在老爸，老妈，老姐和老妹去澳门时就买好了~现在只剩下是鞋还没买而已。。。这个新年满特别的，假期，自己延迟到25日。。哈哈。。但还是要写信给老师们啦。。。。唉！

自从MATRIC之后，每逢新年都会比较高兴~可能曾经独自离家到一个不曾去过的地方，领悟到家人的重要性吧！哈哈~反正，过年就是一个家人团圆的时间，我们应该开心地迎接它咯！

大家，新年快乐哦！红包拿来啊！别和我说还没结婚哦！没结婚也要补给啦！哈哈~

祝 大家

猪年行好运

学业猛进

青春美丽

天天开心

恭喜发财

万事如意

财源滚滚来

生意兴隆（与你们无关）哈哈

新年快乐啦！♥

Selfishness in me….

As a human being in this world, I often think about what kind of person am i….. Life in this world make me tired as everyone has been “installed” to the thought since we were born, be nice, friendly, helpful, and all the positive behaviors…yes, we have to…or maybe I should say we get used to it oledi…but then, no one is perfect…

I’m selfish… I admitted it….i shall be very selfish starting now…. This is because I’m getting tired of everything in this world. Yup, acting likes I dun care in whatever thing since last year making me hard to breathe. I treat myself badly and I feel so sorry about it…Well, I have to more selfish to treat myself good, I guess….life is short….i’m lack of own opinion and standpoint…future is in our hand, planning is job that I should do….and I know I’m wasting my time now… life will change after this, I’m so tired with my life that is controlled by a lot of factors….or in other words, I’m a big damn stupid person…yes, I am…. I’m doing this because I scare the situation I had in form 4 will look for me again… that’s very scary…

I dun know what else I can say because the others I only can keep it for me…Life is beautiful when you make full use of it; however, it will be like hell if you dun know how to manage your life well…challenge was set on me, and I shouldn’t wait for the other people to face it together with me… I should try to face it myself until I really been knock down by it and then I will try to seek help from friends.

Born in 1987 and, arey, its time for you to grown up and be serious in whatever you do…your life wont be always underneath the sunshine that you parents give it to you…be strong and tough…

Appreciation on the people you always Love…..

Whenever there is a sudden death of the person that we know who are they, even if they don’t know who we are… its will surely give me a big impact in my feeling and my mind which will make me think a lot….in 2003, the death of Leslie Cheung give me a negative impact which I dun want to talk much about it. This year, on January 28^th, actress in Taiwan , Xu Wei Lun（许玮伦）died after been in the hospital for two days unconscious. She involved in a car accident in Tai Chong. Doctors said her brain inside was fully damage after her head knock hard on the dashboard during the accident. It is hard to believe, even now, because I still watch the TV series “Express boy”, yup, she is one of the actress. All that I think, I guess this news give me a positive impact in me….

Reading all the sad news, suddenly thinking that tragedies happen unexpectedly, don’t know when, and don’t know how….. This minute we may still healthy and happy, and we don’t know what will happen next minute. Humans always will only regret and sad once they loss someone important, but then why have to wait until that very last minute?? Yeah, if that is someone important, no matter what happen to him/her, it is true that we will sad and cry….. But why have to regret??

Yes, we not manage to remember all the time that spend with everyone together because we are not PENDRIV, we are not COMPUTER we are not CAMCORDER that record down images and everything…..we can’t remember  all the stuff that happen, but at least when spending together we should appreciate!!!!! Appreciate the people that you love now…..tell the person that sit right next to you now that you love them so much ‘cause we can’t predict what happen in the next minute…..even can make a phone call to home , tell your parent that you love them most….. Tell your friends you love them… appreciate everything that is in front of you…..and dun regret in the future….

My friend told me, lives in this world with happy and appreciates and at the same time assumes that the world will reach the end tomorrow…..so makes everyday as an important day…

Beloved Daddy & mommy, love you♥!!!

My beloved three sisters, I love you all♥…..

My friends…. I love you too♥…..

And lastly,

arey~

I love you♥….~

contact lenses~

because of ah ui, i take my step bravely and go to buy contact lense......

well, since i'm in form 3, if not mistaken, i ask my mom to let me wear contact lenses.... that is because i've been wearing a specs since primary 3, more accurate, is 9 year old...... i still remember my mom scold me when she get the news from my teacher that i have to wear specs..... that time, all the thing that my teacher written on the board using blue and red chalk that time, were totally blur for me.... i dun like to wear specs..... at first, i will always forgot to wear specs to the school, and from that time, can't copy whatever thing on the board.....then i'm started to be lazy...i dun wan to do any homework...... unless i have to pass up..... alot of thing happen since i'm starting to wear specs..... i broke 2 specs...hahaha.... very embarassing to say that...haha....in form 2, i change a new specs.... that time  i consider specs can be one of the fashion.... haha..... i'm wearing frameless that time.... until i finish form 5, i change a half frame spec, my eye-sight getting blur and blur, it's hard for me to take of my spec to play basketball too........... after one year in matric, come back, working for one month , i change again to the spec that i'm wearing now.. i chose this specs because my sis think this is quite nice and up-dated!!!! hahaha..... but i still want to try contact lenses ar.......hahaha..... yes.... i wearing it now... hahah... bt not everyday la.... still in the middle of getting used to it... today no wear la....

this is kronology of my specs history.... hahahah..... ♥♥

Korean????

Ahn nyong haseyo~

Jeoneun Ann Chee-rago haeyo~

Mannaseo ban-gapsseumnida~

haha.... some of the phrases i learned through internet....

so crazy lately about learning korean language...

we try to register for korean class but then there is no class offer... how sad~

so decided to learn through internet lor.... haha.....

downloading all the material from internet, play the voice learning loud in lab n follow the korean to pronounce the word....haha

however, i still didnt learn how to write in korean......

but know lah, learn to speak is much more easier than learn to write... hehe...

here are some of the phrases n words i learned....(pronouciation of c and j is almost the same, and k and g is almost the same)

Anio = No

Ne = yes

An nyong haseyo = Hello

Yeoboseyo = Hello(when answer phone)

An nyong hi-gyeseyo = gudbye(when u are a guest)

An nyong hi-gaseyo = gudbye(when u are a host)

Eoseo oseyo = Welcome

Cheonmaneyo = u are welcome

Gomapseumnida (Gamsahamnida) = Thank u

Mi ahn hamnida (Joe sohng hamnida) = Sorry

sillyehamnida = excuse me

Mannaseo ban-gapsseumnida = Its a pleasure to meet you

Jeoneun (ur name)-rago haeyo = My name is (ur name)

nae-il jeonyeoge sigan isseoyo? = are you free tomorrow evening?

sigan = time

saeng-il chukahamnida=happy birthday to you

sarang-haneun(sarang-hada) = dear

gwan gwang ke = tourist

haksaeng = student

that's all i know... but if you want to learn can go to

http://rki.kbs.co.kr/learn_korean/lessons/e_index.htm

annyong hi-gyeseyo!!!!

微笑的背后~

已经凌晨了，虽然刚从小睡醒来，应该很累吧！可是，我一点也不觉得累，反而悲从中来，让我又想起一些不开心的事。。。最近，不知道为什么，脑海一直被那些事困扰着。“想太多”，我想这三个字应该满适合来形容我吧！这些悲伤的心事来袭击内心深处，我想是有季节的！



不管事情再过了多久，心里还是会隐隐作痛。当心痛得无法呼吸时，只好大哭一场。。。自己也因为这些事而哭到眼泪都没了，但阴影还是没有离我而去，依然还在纠缠我。。。



那件事由背叛开始，也是由背叛结束。。。受害者是谁，我也无法给确定的答案了，反正我就是其中的一个吧！这让我知道，不是每一件事都可以随便与人分享,即使自己生活的另一半，我们活在这世界上，不该说的，该藏起来的，都须藏在心里深处。



微笑的背后，就是悲伤和崩溃的阴影，让微笑遮盖了所有，自以为是问题解决的好方法，可能是咯！但我只知道这方法需要很长时间才能看到效果。可是，那些微笑都不是演出来的，那是打从心里真诚的微笑，只是微笑的背后还有另一段故事。


May God Bless Everyone~


Luv,somebody~

difficult~

sometimes, i think life really .....

frustrated.....

even now, no assignment, nothing to do.....

but i felt that life really tired ...

sharing n giving~

but then not everything inside us that we will share with other people...

we rather keep it for ourself, even with that person is a very close to us.....

same with other people....

they might not share everything....

if we does share everything...then we dun have secret.....

what a stupid thought i have....but that is the truth....

however, keeping all the secret inside may become a burden to our emotion.....

finding someone to talk is not an easy job....

again... the burden stays quiet inside.....

time will heal everything.....

time will lead to solution....

and,

everything will be solved......

believe~

these days....i think a lot.... yup... alot~...

actually .... everyone ever think , what is the thing that behind the " LOVE"?

people usually says... "love brings us together"..... well , what is love....

with all the thing i see from the people around me... i really think that there is only one word can describe love......

BELIEVE~

seeing married couple quarrel n fighthing  lately becoz of something... i wonder did they ever know y they quarrel.... they lost believe to each other.......why they never want to sit down and talk about all the misunderstanding....? if only they believe to each other that they did nothing wrong, no obstacles can break them apart.....

at this moment thank God i didnt face all that ....... once we sure that we love that person and get together because of love, then, we should believe in  each other.....

i dun know what to say but may God Bless all the couples in this world.....