last day of every year is the time we look back to the whole year that about to become past....
hmm.. dunno what to write... achievement and most happy thing that happen?
1) graduated and get a degree~
2) got my on car
3) got my driving licence
4) got family vacation... even not far, only KL and malaka, but first time whole family go holiday together..
5) got my first job....
6) got my 1st branded handbag...
7) organized two camps
8) Thanks to EastarJet for having the direct flight from kuching to Incheon,Seoul..
8) what else?? cant think of many...
thing i havent achieved:
1) attend korean language - coz i cant found 1 in kuching
2) find a permanent job...
3) buy new hp...
4) buy laptop
5) travel to SKorea for winter holiday
6) what else????
anything i left out? dont mind to tell me.. hahhaahhh about sad thing, i think just forget it...hahah... just mention good thing that happen and thign i should i achieve.. hahahhaha
Wednesday, 30 December 2009
Saturday, 26 December 2009
Give me a life... please
i have been stop writing blog since last few months...whatever then... feel like want to start again...
lately i'm not quite sure why i have a very unstable emotion ... so emotional, angry, sad..feels like my dark past come to find me again... i have been thinking the cause of why i am totally different from my family member in this particular part "EMOTION" ... im like to gain attention from people around .. im scare to be alone... now im telling the truth, I Hate people leaving me alone... yes.. i know, im getting angry easily lately, causing me to feel the loneness inside more previous and previous year... i hate myself for being angry easily... i want people to know that im there... simply say... i want people to give me the confident saying.."arey, yes, you are here beside us", if not, i feel lost....
y? y im acting like this... i have been thinking why... but i think i found the cause of making me more sick and sick... and when i found it out, i think i really need a psychologist to help me... that time... on what had happen really did made a deep deep scar in me... so i act like this now... i want people to pay attention to me and know that i'm there... that time, they all dun want to talk to me... im still crying when i think of that incident..even i cried... nobody cares....how old am i that time.. im just only 7 or 8...i rather prefer they scold me than not talking to me... that night really hurt me alot... and left a scar.. so is it the scar making me to reflect like this nowadays???? i havent say this word since 2006..... and tonight, out of nithing... i have repeated myself by saying "i hate myself....."
i need time now...i really need time now... new year is coming, hope everything will be better then...why i din share with people around... because sometimes there really go thing that we cannot share it out through words...
pray for getting better then.. and stop global warming...
lately i'm not quite sure why i have a very unstable emotion ... so emotional, angry, sad..feels like my dark past come to find me again... i have been thinking the cause of why i am totally different from my family member in this particular part "EMOTION" ... im like to gain attention from people around .. im scare to be alone... now im telling the truth, I Hate people leaving me alone... yes.. i know, im getting angry easily lately, causing me to feel the loneness inside more previous and previous year... i hate myself for being angry easily... i want people to know that im there... simply say... i want people to give me the confident saying.."arey, yes, you are here beside us", if not, i feel lost....
y? y im acting like this... i have been thinking why... but i think i found the cause of making me more sick and sick... and when i found it out, i think i really need a psychologist to help me... that time... on what had happen really did made a deep deep scar in me... so i act like this now... i want people to pay attention to me and know that i'm there... that time, they all dun want to talk to me... im still crying when i think of that incident..even i cried... nobody cares....how old am i that time.. im just only 7 or 8...i rather prefer they scold me than not talking to me... that night really hurt me alot... and left a scar.. so is it the scar making me to reflect like this nowadays???? i havent say this word since 2006..... and tonight, out of nithing... i have repeated myself by saying "i hate myself....."
i need time now...i really need time now... new year is coming, hope everything will be better then...why i din share with people around... because sometimes there really go thing that we cannot share it out through words...
pray for getting better then.. and stop global warming...
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