Give me a life... please

i have been stop writing blog since last few months...whatever then... feel like want to start again...

lately i'm not quite sure why i have a very unstable emotion ... so emotional, angry, sad..feels like my dark past come to find me again... i have been thinking the cause of why i am totally different from my family member in this particular part "EMOTION" ... im like to gain attention from people around .. im scare to be alone... now im telling the truth, I Hate people leaving me alone... yes.. i know, im getting angry easily lately, causing me to feel the loneness inside more previous and previous year... i hate myself for being angry easily... i want people to know that im there... simply say... i want people to give me the confident saying.."arey, yes, you are here beside us", if not, i feel lost....

y? y im acting like this... i have been thinking why... but i think i found the cause of making me more sick and sick... and when i found it out, i think i really need a psychologist to help me... that time... on what had happen really did made a deep deep scar in me... so i act like this now... i want people to pay attention to me and know that i'm there... that time, they all dun want to talk to me... im still crying when i think of that incident..even i cried... nobody cares....how old am i that time.. im just only 7 or 8...i rather prefer they scold me than not talking to me... that night really hurt me alot... and left a scar.. so is it the scar making me to reflect like this nowadays???? i havent say this word since 2006..... and tonight, out of nithing... i have repeated myself by saying "i hate myself....."

i need time now...i really need time now... new year is coming, hope everything will be better then...why i din share with people around... because sometimes there really go thing that we cannot share it out through words...

pray for getting better then.. and stop global warming...