This week..... 17 nov start.... to 21 Nov...

From the fisrt day until now.. really feel unbelievable... 6 months just pass like this.....some times feel that time passes very slow.. but now... pass pretty fast.. but i'm glad for that..... hahaha almost reach the end of LI now... can't wait to go home... miss papa and mamy alot...



No more task lately.. so keep my alert on TVXQ news... coz i will be outdated in the next since that i wont online for a month... a month can happen alot of thing....hahah... MKMF just jeld on last week... but the result... i dunno what should i say.. happy or sad... because i dunno they cried for happiness or sad.....i saw alot of news regarding this MKMF award.. Even though TVXQ swept away 5 awards, including the daesang  " Album the the year".....This is the 1st time i see changmin cry like this...Yunho oppa , yuchun oppa and junsu oppa cry oso.... they  hide from the fans... .... T_T.......



I was so happy at first... seeing them got the 5 award......its been an honour to them as well as their comeback after 1 year and 7 months...they just stand back on Korea stage for 2 months.. but convinced everyone with their "Mirotic"....

I read alot version of news... said that not all the vote from oversea fans is counted...that's y cant get the best group ....that's y TVXQ cry after the MKMF end , with yunho and Junsu hug each other cry, Yuchun cover his face with scalf and cry... changmin cry even more than on stage.. and jaejung cry and make a call to SJ... they tell the cassiopeia " sorry and i love you all".... Wat is happen actually. is this a rumours or wat??  what happen that day?

I also dunno... i only know that Award is an physical work for music industry... all are fake... we, as a viewer, we dunno what happen behind all this glamorous ceremony, elegant costume and all the thousand of spotlight... it is darker than we ever think of... it is quite sad to think of it...But at least, TVXQ still got the daessang of MKMF... @.@and most important , TVXQ will always have cassiopeia support for them....

Quit from the MKMF stupid topic... everything is pass...Lately, i mean last 2 weeks, yunho, yuchun and junsu appear in the entertainment show, "Star's Friend"...it been aired on 15 Nov.... it is a funny show... even no subtitles... i can still laugh until stomachache... hahah... i din reliaze that i can understand almost 50% on what their talking... hahah... my effort not wasted... hahah...



Junho and junsu...this twin brothers is totally will make u laugh.... hahah...Junho performed a girl dance in this show... wonder girls "Tell Me" and Hyori "U-Go-Girl".... hahah.. cute.. and adorable.... hahah.. i dunno y the video that i download... i din c both of this twin bros duet for a song.... hmmm.. maybe i have to dl again.. haahahha... ** plus.. Micky's friend is hilarious!!! hahaha.....

hmm.. i better stop now.. back to work.. hmm.... continue maybe next year le.... hehhhehe

Isn't he cute!!!!! argh........ *melting~

I miss them......♥

Suddenly feel that i miss them so much.. i miss my sisters alot.... i miss my papa and mama alot.... i miss my hometown alot....guess is because i hate this place alot.... and makes me miss kuching more and more...

This week for sure i will go find my sis again... i miss them too much.... i hope tiem will pass faster.... i hate the life here already.....

Papa, mama, ah wei, ah yee, ah sien.... i miss u guys alot.... i hope cny can come faster coz that is the time that we whole family gather together to enjoy the festive season...

Take k of urself.... because i will take good care my myself too....I love u all and misses u all.......

4 months before and after...

I used to be the "countdown" person... from 150++ days count down to 100++days in my msn...

but i've quit from doin it again... i dunno why...yeterday my fren asked me, still got how many day left... before, i can be very proud and tell, left how many days...but now... i ask my fren, "wat ?" "i'm not sure.." "long time din countdown le...."..... hmm.. totally speechless....

i guess i already fall in love with this surrounding...... this few months , i've changed my mind.. is not that i like working... i love who i am now... and i'm very happy to know all my colleagues in MPSB...they are really nice... plus... i'm starting to feel sad as the end of the LI days is approaching... nearer and nearer... closer and closer... i guess this is because i kinda know that i wont be back here, and meet them anymore... plus... i hate saying goodbye...

anyway.... i'm honestly, truthfully say that i'm enjoying my LI semester...this is the wonderful moment... that i wont have it again in my life...

Funny moment, busy moment, happy moment, angry moment..... and even lazy moment i have during this LI , i wont forget it...

I love my LI semester.....♥♥

내 동료들 ~ 사랑해~ 수고해요!

IT != information tecnology, Industrial Training

Annyeong....Its the second week of LI , IT... latihan industri or industrial training at subang jaya here. everything fine here. just that papa and mama not here... miss them alot....
mission start oledi, Java mission... wakaka.... hope i can cope with it well.....6 months , like they say, is very short, pass very fast..... haha... all the best to me, as well as my colleague aka friend aka coursemate aka roomate.. yewli... hehe all the best to her and her inventory system....well.. gotta get back to work... bye...

Having Korean Meal...

My friends say I have been half Korean since I learn Korean language and crazy about TVXQ.

I admit it, haha....

Today, after went to friends’ house, me and my friends went to The Spring to have our dinner. That time we were 정말 배고바(very hungry).... I ordered Korean dish...Chicken gulgogi... 닭고기, I cant believe that it is so nice...the dish consist of a bowl of rice, a hotplate chicken that cook with cabbage, onions and I think got kimchi 김치gua, a small bowl of kimchi (very delicious!!!!!), anchovies, seaweed soup and fruit. Before that, I thought I will not get used to the Korean food... but quite surprised that it is tastier than Japanese food.

It is really a good experience to taste the Korean food, when you follow the culture of Korean having meal. I read an article before, when you use your chopstick; you shouldn’t take your spoon on your other hand but to put down on the table.  It is the same on the other way. Take only either one. When eating rice and taking other dish in the small plate, use chopstick. When want to drink soup, put down your chopstick and use spoon to drink. Before you start you meal (eat your rice), make sure you take your spoon and drink your soup 1st. What a special culture... hehe....

So when you have your Korean, try to follow the culture, it is very interesting.

Next time I go to The Spring, I will try to have the tteok bokki~~hehe...and many more... hehe..

♥♥ TVXQ 사랑하는~ 사랑해요~♥♥ 시아준수♥♥

a tribute to my handphone..

My little handphone, had been following me for the pass 3 year(since 14may2005) was declared "Dead" last 2 days......on the same day, i keep on talking about buying a new hp with my ptptn, on that very nite, it is dead.... is it that my handphone jealous??? haha.... i also not sure...guess so gua.... hehe... before this , it has been sent to hospital once due to unconscious. now.... hmmm..... 3 years...not a short period of time..... hehe....well, i goin to buy a new hp this week.... sony ericsson k618i, i gues... i want the polar bear series..(i mean white in color)hehe......
dunno lah... still waiting for the news......

korean wave~

안녕 하세요.....well... new year 2008 already.... hmmm.. think back what had i done in year 2007 ?... nothing much.... except at the very end of the year 2007 , i learned how to read the hangeul(한글) and learned quite many phrases through online course....at the same time.... chinese songs had been placed to the other side.... priority is given to korean songs ... hahaha.... i'm listen to korean songs now.... crazily.....how i'm goin to memorize it? online find the hangeul version lyrics and translate it...하하하하....basically , i think that learning korean is not hard.... as long as u have the interest of it... you can learn quite fast...even now i try to know each of the meanings of the words i learned... i'm  always learning... hehe ... watching korean mv can help improve ur korean as well....

to learn more : http://english.tour2korea.com/

hmm.. SE exam is on 2mr...

well se exam is 2mr.... i should have sit in front of book and struggle for the exam.... but since few weeks ago .... i felt so down easily.......i wonder what have happen to me..... suddenly feel like hating myself a lot.....damn it.......whatever then, i guess it will be much better after exam gua..... or maybe ..... hmm.... i also dunno.... same as last holiday?... maybe.....haha... feel like throwing the monitor onto the floor, throw the keyboard out of the window.... throw the mouse into rubbish bin.... and throw the speaker to the wall.....hard to breathe..... haiz.... but i managed to smile.... that can count ok gua..... hehehe.....nothing is right since holiday..... so shit.....but at least i'm not wasting my tears lo..... haiz.......

**it's a suffer when you have to smile when u r sad....(i like this sentence.... it is too meaningful....)

love arey....God Bless

True friend~

a true fren, what is the different between a true fren and a best fren ? i found out the answer not long ago.... in jun 22, 2007....a fren that i knew from LO induksi 07/08..a fren who call me up to the stage in the early morning to do the refreshment for the 1st day in Dk,ctf1.its quite funny .... then we started our conversation in the game " angin bertiup"... and from there, i knew her name "Angelyn".... hehehe.... few day later, she told me that she is my form 3 English teacher's niece.... hehehe...... This world is so small.... aiyoyo.... heheh.....being posted into the same college, Cempaka during MAP.... we having unforgetable time together, eat together, have afternn nap together, hehe..... we were having a great time.... and i dun know why for a person that i know for only for a two weeks time can be so close together....after MAP, we become more close together... i ever said to her, we are born too met each other.....we are born to know each other.....

a true fren , is a fren that we are not selfish to, even a tiny bit, is a fren that we treat with full of our heart, a fren that we cant lie to.... most importantly, a fren that we luv....this is wat in my mind in the meaning of a true fren......sometimes under some circumstances, there r weaknesses in some frenship that can make you break down and cry ,but then, you cant do anything....

Angelyn, dar dar, there r some words that we will keep in our heart and quite shy to say it out.....so i say it here,

Dar dar,

i don't know how many times i thanks God for letting me to meet you n to be your fren. one of the wonderful thing in my life is met you.... i wanna say thank u alot... quite ama hehe..... hahhaha... dar dar, dar dar muaks muaks dar dar....

from me, dar dar.

不想长大

(生日感想)

20/05/2007

S.H.E 的一首歌，“不想长大”。在自己生日前夕，突然有种感触，我不

想长大，根本不想长大，长大后的世界都是复杂的。每一件事都可以

缭乱思想，复杂到透不过气来。何必呢？我好想永远活在儿童的世界

里，对周围的事都毫无顾虑，开开心心的活着，无忧无虑的活着……长

大了，什么事情都要自己处理，开心时还要有一半的脑去担心其他的

事，悲伤时还有顾虑到不影响其他事或其他人。小时候，悲伤时就哭，

开心时就笑， 多简单的生活！我告诉我朋友，我不想长大，我要自己

永远都是幼稚园学生， 无忧无虑。结果，大家都在笑我……也许我是

说了蠢话，那是不可能的事，可是无忧无虑的生活，谁拒绝得了呢？

面对事实，我可以啊！对啊！我不得不面对事实，我不再是小孩了……

顾虑到现在，还要顾虑到未来。脑就是不停的运转，想着千千万万个问

题和烦恼，每个人都是这样。开心和欢笑的背后，烦恼着所面对的烦

恼， 悲伤和哭泣的背后，享受微微幸福的存在。时间呼唤我们长大，

秒针一步一步的走，仿佛好像在我们背后推动着我们向前走，瞭望未

来……它把我们推向哪里？这只有我们自己做决定。走每一步都是小心

翼翼，每一步都把我们小时候的单纯想法遗留在背后……童年欢乐的时

光也遗留在远远的背后，把脑里的空间占满着周围的发生事情。现在想

起，生活在这世界短短几十年，就是给种种烦恼缠绕着度过，好像有点

不值得呢！即使说老了退休，可以享受清福，还是会烦恼自己会怎样

死，怎样离开这世界吧？！即使有钱要环游世界，也会烦恼着要先去哪

个国家吧？！

总之，随着年龄的增长，烦恼也越变越多。明天是我在这世界呼吸第20

年的第一天，虽然烦恼多，但还是很庆幸可以来到这世界，看看这世界

的奥妙。但我还是要说，“我不想长大！！！”=P

p/s:

I would like to say thanks to my friends who help me celebrate my birthday

yesterday. Well, this is the first time they help me celebrate. Do I have to mention

all their names? Hehe… ok… thanks to Hon Hua, Nan Ping , Hui Heng, Mei Hui,

Kee Choi, Teng Wang, Chia Yin, Li Yong , Kang Li, Maureen, Ee Chiang, Hui

Ling and the absent one, Hui Liang…. Thanks for everything….. Muackss… and

thanks to the earliest First person who say “Happy Birthday” to me last month…

Thanks for everything…. I love u all…….

Best Wishes from me,

aReY

(Blog written on 20/05/07, 6.55pm)

new batch~

new batch registered into college..... as a LO, wow head! hell busy and angry.... coorperation is  very bad between the team... well, what to do? hell die!!!! standing at the arrival hall the whole day, my leg's cells all dead.... imagine wearing high heel and standing whole day.and you have to argue with your team member.coorperation really bad like hell.... that all i can say but that is for "some"of the member lah......hell!!!! hopefully tomorrow can be very well..........

The Phobia...

Maybe sometimes i really think too much... but yet, i'm sure that i am very scare to be hurt again and the dark happen again ... i dun wan to be hurt again so right now i dun wan to ask much whch that is not belongs to me and what that will not belongs to me.... everything comes and go.... i guess i wouldn't have a better life either........... although everything passed... the effect still in me... and i guess i'm still phobia with it.... i dun want to welcome the problem to come into my life life really unexpectable...... things not happen according to what you want.... does this the method that God used to train human to be strong? i think i'm strong enough facing my feeling... but things still looking for me and caused me break down and cry.... and what is that for? i really dunno.......... that day i found out that the scare looking for me.... the phobia..... i dun want things happen and happen again.... the strong in me will be chop off again and again until i loss it..... and that time i really dun know what will happen to me.......i guess i will loss myself....... only God knows everythings........

情绪病。。。。。。

那天，自己闹了一个晚上的情绪，唉！觉得自己好白痴哦。。。还有77天，我就20岁了。。。想起来好丢脸哦！都长大了，还爱闹情绪。。。真是的~哇！对不起自己啦。。。对不起家人。。。对不起全世界的人。。。我要和“闹情绪”说不了!

♥♥

it's solved....

already how many years that thing happen.... i forgot already and i have to take a look at my hand and count it with my fingers.. since 2002, the year i faced my PMR..5 years already... thing never get it solution.... and on february 20, 2007, i finally can get myself off of that annoying matter.

since 2002, i have been suspected to be the person that doing that stupid thing.i was trying to tell everyone i am innocent, but then, the people from the other side... that other side stil suspected me do that sending stupid email thing to one of my fren...... i know that , however, i starting to be lazy to explain to all.... they not believe in me.... so no matter how i explained, things will get worse.... i just keep quiet...it was annoying.... until i left my secondary school... how i wish that person never appear in my life.... how i wish i never put my feeling on him....he was the one that probably causing all this to be happen.... i started to hate this person since form 4... yup, that time he graduated already....but things still keep happening.... i'm so lazy to face it... until me dun want to care about it.... i really dun want to care about it, even my fren talk about the stupid email that she receive from someone unknown, i acted like i didnt heard it... then skipped to another topic.... for two years i left secondary school , this matter left unsolve.... right until 20 february 2007, one of my fren ,that her sister is one of the fren of that person, told me who did that.... and auomatically prove tht i'm innocent.... i suddenly feel so happy and feel so free....

problem solved , who did that, i also know... but then... i let it go.... revenges are nothing now....that person that did all that has the punishments now...just want to let the matter gone with the wind... i just accept the fact that i had been very unlucky to be involved in this matter....but this thing made me thinks maturely and be happy go lucky..... time will prove everything that is right or wrong although it's takes a long time....

i'm free finally.........

Selfishness in me….

As a human being in this world, I often think about what kind of person am i….. Life in this world make me tired as everyone has been “installed” to the thought since we were born, be nice, friendly, helpful, and all the positive behaviors…yes, we have to…or maybe I should say we get used to it oledi…but then, no one is perfect…

I’m selfish… I admitted it….i shall be very selfish starting now…. This is because I’m getting tired of everything in this world. Yup, acting likes I dun care in whatever thing since last year making me hard to breathe. I treat myself badly and I feel so sorry about it…Well, I have to more selfish to treat myself good, I guess….life is short….i’m lack of own opinion and standpoint…future is in our hand, planning is job that I should do….and I know I’m wasting my time now… life will change after this, I’m so tired with my life that is controlled by a lot of factors….or in other words, I’m a big damn stupid person…yes, I am…. I’m doing this because I scare the situation I had in form 4 will look for me again… that’s very scary…

I dun know what else I can say because the others I only can keep it for me…Life is beautiful when you make full use of it; however, it will be like hell if you dun know how to manage your life well…challenge was set on me, and I shouldn’t wait for the other people to face it together with me… I should try to face it myself until I really been knock down by it and then I will try to seek help from friends.

Born in 1987 and, arey, its time for you to grown up and be serious in whatever you do…your life wont be always underneath the sunshine that you parents give it to you…be strong and tough…

Appreciation on the people you always Love…..

Whenever there is a sudden death of the person that we know who are they, even if they don’t know who we are… its will surely give me a big impact in my feeling and my mind which will make me think a lot….in 2003, the death of Leslie Cheung give me a negative impact which I dun want to talk much about it. This year, on January 28^th, actress in Taiwan , Xu Wei Lun（许玮伦）died after been in the hospital for two days unconscious. She involved in a car accident in Tai Chong. Doctors said her brain inside was fully damage after her head knock hard on the dashboard during the accident. It is hard to believe, even now, because I still watch the TV series “Express boy”, yup, she is one of the actress. All that I think, I guess this news give me a positive impact in me….

Reading all the sad news, suddenly thinking that tragedies happen unexpectedly, don’t know when, and don’t know how….. This minute we may still healthy and happy, and we don’t know what will happen next minute. Humans always will only regret and sad once they loss someone important, but then why have to wait until that very last minute?? Yeah, if that is someone important, no matter what happen to him/her, it is true that we will sad and cry….. But why have to regret??

Yes, we not manage to remember all the time that spend with everyone together because we are not PENDRIV, we are not COMPUTER we are not CAMCORDER that record down images and everything…..we can’t remember  all the stuff that happen, but at least when spending together we should appreciate!!!!! Appreciate the people that you love now…..tell the person that sit right next to you now that you love them so much ‘cause we can’t predict what happen in the next minute…..even can make a phone call to home , tell your parent that you love them most….. Tell your friends you love them… appreciate everything that is in front of you…..and dun regret in the future….

My friend told me, lives in this world with happy and appreciates and at the same time assumes that the world will reach the end tomorrow…..so makes everyday as an important day…

Beloved Daddy & mommy, love you♥!!!

My beloved three sisters, I love you all♥…..

My friends…. I love you too♥…..

And lastly,

arey~

I love you♥….~

contact lenses~

because of ah ui, i take my step bravely and go to buy contact lense......

well, since i'm in form 3, if not mistaken, i ask my mom to let me wear contact lenses.... that is because i've been wearing a specs since primary 3, more accurate, is 9 year old...... i still remember my mom scold me when she get the news from my teacher that i have to wear specs..... that time, all the thing that my teacher written on the board using blue and red chalk that time, were totally blur for me.... i dun like to wear specs..... at first, i will always forgot to wear specs to the school, and from that time, can't copy whatever thing on the board.....then i'm started to be lazy...i dun wan to do any homework...... unless i have to pass up..... alot of thing happen since i'm starting to wear specs..... i broke 2 specs...hahaha.... very embarassing to say that...haha....in form 2, i change a new specs.... that time  i consider specs can be one of the fashion.... haha..... i'm wearing frameless that time.... until i finish form 5, i change a half frame spec, my eye-sight getting blur and blur, it's hard for me to take of my spec to play basketball too........... after one year in matric, come back, working for one month , i change again to the spec that i'm wearing now.. i chose this specs because my sis think this is quite nice and up-dated!!!! hahaha..... but i still want to try contact lenses ar.......hahaha..... yes.... i wearing it now... hahah... bt not everyday la.... still in the middle of getting used to it... today no wear la....

this is kronology of my specs history.... hahahah..... ♥♥

微笑的背后~

已经凌晨了，虽然刚从小睡醒来，应该很累吧！可是，我一点也不觉得累，反而悲从中来，让我又想起一些不开心的事。。。最近，不知道为什么，脑海一直被那些事困扰着。“想太多”，我想这三个字应该满适合来形容我吧！这些悲伤的心事来袭击内心深处，我想是有季节的！



不管事情再过了多久，心里还是会隐隐作痛。当心痛得无法呼吸时，只好大哭一场。。。自己也因为这些事而哭到眼泪都没了，但阴影还是没有离我而去，依然还在纠缠我。。。



那件事由背叛开始，也是由背叛结束。。。受害者是谁，我也无法给确定的答案了，反正我就是其中的一个吧！这让我知道，不是每一件事都可以随便与人分享,即使自己生活的另一半，我们活在这世界上，不该说的，该藏起来的，都须藏在心里深处。



微笑的背后，就是悲伤和崩溃的阴影，让微笑遮盖了所有，自以为是问题解决的好方法，可能是咯！但我只知道这方法需要很长时间才能看到效果。可是，那些微笑都不是演出来的，那是打从心里真诚的微笑，只是微笑的背后还有另一段故事。


May God Bless Everyone~


Luv,somebody~

difficult~

sometimes, i think life really .....

frustrated.....

even now, no assignment, nothing to do.....

but i felt that life really tired ...

sharing n giving~

but then not everything inside us that we will share with other people...

we rather keep it for ourself, even with that person is a very close to us.....

same with other people....

they might not share everything....

if we does share everything...then we dun have secret.....

what a stupid thought i have....but that is the truth....

however, keeping all the secret inside may become a burden to our emotion.....

finding someone to talk is not an easy job....

again... the burden stays quiet inside.....

time will heal everything.....

time will lead to solution....

and,

everything will be solved......

blur...

He is far from me...

make me feel more and more dizzy and blur each day....

so helpless....

everyone is stress...

i'm also one of them....

i wana crazy oledi.....

Hope that He be at my side now...

so that i'm not blur so much...

argh......

May God be at my side and be with everyone.....bless!

Luv arey......